Post by Johnny Reb on May 18, 2017 7:05:36 GMT
johnny reb is walking down the streets in an open t-shirt showing off his muscular hairy chest while he runs a hand affectionately through his hair. women flock after him and caress him but he doesnt even give them a sideways glance, his eyes trained on the camera crew in front of him.
johnny reb: so i've got a lot to prove. i got into this fed under false premises. i'm not revolution...we look alike, yeah. and i used to look up to the guy, yeah. but i aint him. so i guess thats why even though im the only real wrestler in this whole federation, the only one that can enhance president leroy's brand and be the face of the company he worked so hard to build...even though i'm everything he wants and needs in a champ...i'm stuck here forced to work my way up in some tournament, chock-full of nobody's, from an undersized jobber who isn't only mute but also apparently so deformed in the face he hides behind a power rangers mask...to a pencil-armed alcohol swilling hobo...all the way to, well, Ukyo and Basho...the nuclear night wings...they're alright. i wish em luck, even. but the fact is i get that i'm starting on the bottom. and thats no problem because i'm also the only one in this fed who is actually willing and able to put in work. i like challenges...and just the challenge of how many twinkies you can stuff down in a minute like big dusty haystacks...i mean pushing this body of mine to its limits. i mean turning on the pressure, looking into the face of danger, risking everything and seeing what i'm made of. that's what i live for and that's what makes me different.
i'm not afraid to face my fears. i'm not even afraid of the two main eventers for our next show, big dusty haystacks and madman. and those are two scary, scary men. i mean, i'll be honest, i'd hate to get into the ring or on the mat with madman. i'll do it any time any place but i'm definitely scared.
the women around johnny reb look confused and troubled. they attempt to caress and nuzzle him to reassure their idol.
johnny reb: i mean, getting in the ring with you, madman, is risking certain death or at least a trip to the hospital. nobody can argue that. even locking up with you at all is skirting with danger. but hey, president leroy has the best med staff in the world and i know that if they can't get rid of all the mrsa, staph infection, ring worm, contact herpes, fleas and general stench that im gonna probably walk away with after i beat you into a little stain on the ground, well then nobody can. but i got faith in the wwl med staff. heck, i'll probably have to wear hazmat suit or at least some long sleeves and i know the ladies won't like that but what you gonna do. i might even give you an extra beatdown just for all those showers you skipped, loser.
now big dusty haystacks...that man, i see him in my nightmares. in fact, he's the only guy i ever do have nightmares of. because you know, if i ever lost my drive, my heart...my will to be more than just a sentient pile of cellulite...well, i might be a little bit like big dusty haystacks. the man is a walking cautionary tale. ice cream tastes good children, but only a few scoops at a time. heck, i think that's why the president even has you in this federation, tubby. you're one giant public service announcement to all the children out there to put down the sweets and hit the gym. but you know after i drop you on your head a time or ten before i finally pin you for the 1-2-3 you're gonna be even better...i mean, one looked at your beaten down body and kids will never skip gym class again big dusty ol' mate.
all this has me thinking...ol reb isn't scheduled for the main event but i might just give people their money's worth anyway.
johnny reb winks at the camera.
johnny reb: boys, i might be seeing you sooner than you think.
johnny reb: so i've got a lot to prove. i got into this fed under false premises. i'm not revolution...we look alike, yeah. and i used to look up to the guy, yeah. but i aint him. so i guess thats why even though im the only real wrestler in this whole federation, the only one that can enhance president leroy's brand and be the face of the company he worked so hard to build...even though i'm everything he wants and needs in a champ...i'm stuck here forced to work my way up in some tournament, chock-full of nobody's, from an undersized jobber who isn't only mute but also apparently so deformed in the face he hides behind a power rangers mask...to a pencil-armed alcohol swilling hobo...all the way to, well, Ukyo and Basho...the nuclear night wings...they're alright. i wish em luck, even. but the fact is i get that i'm starting on the bottom. and thats no problem because i'm also the only one in this fed who is actually willing and able to put in work. i like challenges...and just the challenge of how many twinkies you can stuff down in a minute like big dusty haystacks...i mean pushing this body of mine to its limits. i mean turning on the pressure, looking into the face of danger, risking everything and seeing what i'm made of. that's what i live for and that's what makes me different.
i'm not afraid to face my fears. i'm not even afraid of the two main eventers for our next show, big dusty haystacks and madman. and those are two scary, scary men. i mean, i'll be honest, i'd hate to get into the ring or on the mat with madman. i'll do it any time any place but i'm definitely scared.
the women around johnny reb look confused and troubled. they attempt to caress and nuzzle him to reassure their idol.
johnny reb: i mean, getting in the ring with you, madman, is risking certain death or at least a trip to the hospital. nobody can argue that. even locking up with you at all is skirting with danger. but hey, president leroy has the best med staff in the world and i know that if they can't get rid of all the mrsa, staph infection, ring worm, contact herpes, fleas and general stench that im gonna probably walk away with after i beat you into a little stain on the ground, well then nobody can. but i got faith in the wwl med staff. heck, i'll probably have to wear hazmat suit or at least some long sleeves and i know the ladies won't like that but what you gonna do. i might even give you an extra beatdown just for all those showers you skipped, loser.
now big dusty haystacks...that man, i see him in my nightmares. in fact, he's the only guy i ever do have nightmares of. because you know, if i ever lost my drive, my heart...my will to be more than just a sentient pile of cellulite...well, i might be a little bit like big dusty haystacks. the man is a walking cautionary tale. ice cream tastes good children, but only a few scoops at a time. heck, i think that's why the president even has you in this federation, tubby. you're one giant public service announcement to all the children out there to put down the sweets and hit the gym. but you know after i drop you on your head a time or ten before i finally pin you for the 1-2-3 you're gonna be even better...i mean, one looked at your beaten down body and kids will never skip gym class again big dusty ol' mate.
all this has me thinking...ol reb isn't scheduled for the main event but i might just give people their money's worth anyway.
johnny reb winks at the camera.
johnny reb: boys, i might be seeing you sooner than you think.